Identity Theft + Cool Videos

Hi everyone this is the real Regan, back in action with a new gmail password! I think I may have worked out who the imposter regan troll is and will njoy taking them to court for identity theft (no, I did not write those three hilarious posts with the MS paint pictures of me in drop crotch pants). In the meantime here are some cool videos

linked to me by the wonderful markus ho:

scott allan cannot get enough of the above video, he has watched it at least 6(000?) times!!!

my flat hotting

as im sure you are all awear my flat warming was on last saturday night and you were all probably there partying with me as randy from trailer park boys it was funny because i had been out all day and had gone out for more dinners on plates so i got arrived back to my flat late and i read a sign on my door saying YOU ARE RANDY i thought this was great because i love trailer park boys and randy is a great character who is fat and has a hairy chest and eats cheese burrgers all the time and never wears a t shirt on the show so even though im skinny and don't eat cheese burgrs i was stoked (pun intended hahaha) to portray his chracter

it was also great because we had  a lot of bread at our flat for people to eat for nergies because we had stoling lots of bread from a dumpster a a few nights before because we had cool freinds down from tamaranui who allways go dumpester diving because its the thing to do in tamuranui so after a night of skating  at my washington skate park, christchurch, aoteroaa we went and stole bread so we had heaps of bread at the flat warming to feed everyone and we didnt have to worry about food (i think this deservs a post of it self so keep an eye out for future posts!!!!)

 alex was ricky because he practically is ricky and has a difficult time pronuncing jalapeno scott was julian damien was j-roc and brad was bubbles it was gerat because no one knew who we were when they arrived but we had trailer park boys playing on the tv all night with out the sound on so when people asker who we were we were able to point to the tv and explain and they would be really impressed because we all looked exactly like them

 here is a photo of me at my flat warming:

the funny thig was though in all the photos of me like the one above it looks like im just rediculously drunk and have lost all my cloths and people drew on me cause i was too drunk to releasie they were drewing on me and because my good friend ronan come dressed as me for the dress up party because i am so cool it looks like he has stoling all my clothes because i was too drunk....in actual fact i did not drink that nite lolol bt all da pepl on the facbook will think i did O NO

i wrote a poem about my great night at my flat warming here it is njoy:

i thought i might dress in bread
my flatmates decided randy instead
they took away my shirt
my pasty skin hurt
but at least in the end i got to bed

much love,

regan

Zombies

Some zombies like cones.

Others prefer cats.

dinner with my good friend daniel noah daniel noahs' mum and my muther

after a long day of paitning with my some of my best friends and flatmates i wnet out to dinner with one of my good friends called daniel noah and his mum and my mum because i am friends with daniel and daniels mum is friends with my mum so we were able to get together and have a good time and eat foods for enrgey because we are both turning twenty ones

here is a photo of us having dinner from earlier tonight:

as you can see we had peas on plates for dinner tonight but it turned out they were actually nuts and i accidently got green paint over them from paint from my hands and ended up going to have a big sppon of peas and nearly died becase i am allergy to buts and my throat swells up and i cant breath but fortunately because my mum was with my she was able to stab andreniline into my heart and i was ok it was just like pulp fiction my favourite film

i forgot to mention i have a great love of poetry in my previous update about myself and it is something i do so i afterwards i wrote a few poems here is two that i will share with you:

a large spoon of peas
turned out to be deadly nuts
drenaline saved me

when something is ripe
eat it and write a poem
that is what i do

much love,

regan stoke

A REBUTTLE

THIS IS THE REAL REGAN

today myself chris matt ronan and james had a lovely painting session at my flat. i kindly let james borrow my  laptop to look up a picture of a bird to paint. it was a kind gesture by myself, regan stokes. sadly i had to leave early to drive home for a birthday dinner so i let chris continue to use my laptop. when i got home i saw an excellent troll post written by one of my friends. it was a good troll. congrats. this is what i looked like when i saw it...i was very confused

seriously keen to know who did it, the picture of me is amazing!

hi people people call me regan

hi guys i no a lot of you dont actully know who i am even this is my blog so i thought  i better introduce myself so you know i am because that would be awkward if we like came friends but were not actuaully friends and then we were at a party together and we didnt know we were frineds on this blog but we actully were friends. so who am i? my name is regan and i love everything that involves skating painting running teaching breading wiiing occuppying reading muscinig pokemonsing and everything else that is great in life like kids.

here is a picture of me playing skateboards while painting and you can even see that i have spilt paint on my shoes i was so upset but then i was like this is kinda cool and put more paint on my shoes and now i wear to them partys and girls are always like omg are you a painted that is so cool and im like yeah totes i paint all the time and they love me:

kia ora kia ora tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu tena kotu  ka toa.

ok so you guys know exactly who i am so now if i was party with you you would be able to recogniz me because you have seen a picture of me and ill be the guy with the skateboard and piant brush.

much love

stay happy, stay sane

Name: Rosa Borg
Gender: Questionable. I will go with female.
Age: 21, I shall stop aging now thanks very much.
From: CHCH through and through baby!
Current whereabouts: Hawthorn, Melbourne

This year I am doing: Ryan Gosling, Hamish Blake and Russel Norman. And also living a life of variety! My trusted friend Sentia Media has provided me with a casual job to complement my social development studies. I shall also be keeping 'work' to a minimum, designing pretty visuals via Adobe, screen printing, sewing, building (both wooden structures and friendships), volunteering/being socially constructive in some capacity, travelling, cooking (and therefore eating), learning, meeting as many new people as possible, laughing a shit load, dancng a lot, being an extra in a B-grade Aussie sit-com and flower arranging. Staying happy and staying sane are major goals. I aim to live in a world with a hazy yellow tinge.

What I like to do: partake in sunshine picnics with cheese, sparkling brews, The Shins in the background, and people I love/will love before the day's end making lame yet fucking hilarious jokes about nothing much. Create textured typography. Photo montage. Tell people that look great that they look great. Inform misoginistic assholes of their social shortcomings. DANCE! Daydream about fantastic yet somehow possible scenarios which involve me entering into awesomely funny yet in no way scripted dialogue with desirable men. Paint brightly coloured nails. Read Nick Hornby. Watch Ryan Gosling. Hug my sister. Think of all the exciting things in the world there is left to do.

My room currently: as someone who spent a year with no bedroom (oh the dramas of the Western world!), my current room + sunroom setup fills me with pleasure whenever I return to it. Jizz-worthy photos to follow. I suggest you prepare a nappy.

BORG vs PUS

This post will detail the adventures that followed New Years 2012. A certain Ollie has been hassling me since January to put up the infamous photos from our road trip, so here they are!

Firstly, some brief background details:

- Laura, Josh and myself (Regan) spent New Years Eve in Kaikoura. Laura's friend Manuel hosted a potluck dinner at his beachfront flat so we went along with a group of Laura's friends doing PhDs on various species found around Kaikoura. Josh and I built a fire on the beach and taught the overseas students some Maori songs.

- Sophie, Rosa, Ronan, Matt and Ollie spent New Years Eve in Christchurch then drove up to Kaikoura on the 1st of January to meet the three of us. On that Sunday Laura, Josh and I did the Peninsula walk before driving to town to meet the others once they arrived. Here are some pictures from the Peninsula walk:

KING OF ALL THE LOSERS AT THE BEACH

LAURA

LOVES

CHIPS

Silverbeet grows naturally on Kaikoura beaches (cool)

SNUFFLES START HERE

POTENTIAL AREA FOR FUTURE COMMUNE

JOSH DOMINATING HILL

the green leaves were green
the purple leaves were purple
my cat got pregnant

ctf_facingworlds

MAN FIND STICK

Josh and I hardened our feet during the walk by taking our shoes off and grimacing over the sharp rocks. One day I hope to have Hobbit feet (it still hasn't happened yet). After the walk the three of us got into my car and drove to town. During this time Josh created an amazing food combination which I will share now:

The Chocolate Sandwich.

INGREDIENTS
 one slice multigrain bread
 several pieces of dark chocolate

STEPS
1. Place chocolate on bread
2. Fold bread over
3. Eat like a sandwich and njoy the pleasures of such a great tasting combination.

We arrived in town and found Ollie, Matt, Ronan, Rosa and Sophie at the beach. After a quick planning session we drove out of town, and saw off Laura and Josh who drove back to Christchurch in Josh's awesome van. That left the six of us with my car and Ollie's huge landrover thing; Sophie and Rosa put their gear in my car and we all drove north out of Kaikoura, via a supermarket to grab some kai for the evening. Driving along the coast we eventually found a nice spot to stay for the night, right in between the sea and a lake.



hello campsite

SONIC YOUTH: OLLIE/MATT/REGAN/ROSA



INTENSE IN TENTS

ollie's tent had a porch and everything! just like in harry potter AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE.

after 3.5 hours the structure was complete

sophie and rosa ponder several deep and meaningful topics all at once

oh hey ronan

ronan's nit colony was astounding

chef matt ponders his kitchen with enthusiasm

rosa can expect an influx of male stalkers after the publication of this stunning picture

i see the sea
the sea sees me

right

left

I went to the moon
but I had no idea
how I could get back

spirit bomb!
(cue ten episode charge sequence)

supreme kai

ollie's eyes were a key ingredient in the meal

these birds made strange noises

After our fantastic dinner we went to the beach over the sand dune. I went swimming by myself at 11pm (no one else was brave enough!!!!) and almost regretted it immediately as the sea was freezing. I stayed in for a while to save face and this paid off bigtime as I warmed up a bit and floated on my back towards the moon. Unfortunately I had forgotten to bring both togs and a towel so I rocked out in my boxers and Matt/Ronan kindly lent me their towel. 

Rosa went to one tent to read and the rest of us played a game of Last Card in Ollie's huge tent, and during this time we heard the engine of a 4WD hover around our campsite. It freaked us out a lot because the time would have been around 11.30pm by then, and since we were freedom camping we thought it may had been a farmer coming to yell at us. Our card game instantly paused as we drew a collective breath and sat still, bolt upright on high alert, as if staying still in a tent would somehow ward off the evil threat. It seemed to work however as the engine noise gradually subsided as whoever it was drove away and we resumed the game and breathing.

sneaky mr ollie plans his next move!

Everyone went to bed at that point, except Sophie and I who got in our sleeping bags and lay on the sand dune hill to star gaze. It was an amazingly clear night and we saw several shooting stars. We talked about the commune that we're all planning on starting in 2020 and where we should aim to have it. Sophie went to bed in Rosa's tent after a while and I stayed on the sand dune, determined to sleep outside on such a warm night. Sadly the side of a sand dune wasn't a very comfortable place to sleep as sharp tussock jabbed at my face and my terrible choice of position meant I was lying almost vertical on the hill. To prevent myself from rolling down the hill I wedged myself diagonally between two tussock plants, and then tried to fall asleep. I drifted in and out of awful half-sleep for a few hours, then admitted defeat, moved my feet to unwedge myself from my position and slid down the sand dune to a spot more flat. There I slept soundly until the morning broke and my friends found me hidden amongst the tussock.

Most of us had a morning sea swim and then we packed up our camp (leaving no trace) and continued north to Blenheim. We bought kai in Blenheim and continued driving north, eventually reaching Nelson. In Nelson we parked at Tahunanui beach and Ronan performed an excellent troll by pretending to not know who Vampire Weekend were. I put my sunhat on and we went onto the beach for a picnic lunch.

V formation!

Ollie hassled another group of young folk with constant bubbles

We ran into Sophie's friend Meg at the beach and invited her to our 2020 commune. She was keen and suggested it should be a nudist colony. Meg is possibly Jocelyn's twin!

the local christian crew were at the beach too. they seemed nice!

After lunch we drove to Mapua via Richmond and stopped at the wharf. Rosa bought a cool zebra hat at the hat shop and I got a straw hat for my mum. There was an impressive busking duo playing at the bar so we stayed there for a while. 

Here is Ollie modelling my mother's hat and Rosa modelling her zebra cowgirl hat

That night we were all going to the Shapeshifter concert in Riwaka so we drove through Motueka to Riwaka  after a light dinner. Riwaka is a small area just out of Mot with a central hotel (where the gig was being held) and countless fruit orchards/vineyards around it. Other people had already started setting up tents in random fields so after getting changed and yelled at my locals we scouted out some potential camping spots for the night. 

these people used an inventive branch on their car to disguise their subtle camping setup

We wanted somewhere close to the hotel so we could easily walk back to our cars after the concert, grab our sleeping bags and then go to sleep somewhere (it was a warm night so we didn't need tents). The plan was to either sleep amongst long grass by the roadside or sleep under the cover of an orchard. We had a few drinks and then headed into the gig. The area behind the hotel was rocky but a big cover had been set up with the stage underneath. There were lots of bogan/boy racer types around which was pretty entertaining. It was pretty clear immediately that it was not going to be as good as we hoped, as they opening acts were disappointing and the volume was very very loud. Ollie, Matt and Ronan engaged in recreational substance use but this was unsuccessful. Sophie, Rosa and myself decided to make the best out of a fairly average situation so devised a game called "Making Friends". It involved talking to strangers standing by themselves and pretending to have occupations we didn't actually have. The first few people ignored us but eventually we struck gold! Rosa approached one guy and introduced herself by stroking his chin. He took this well and was a really cool guy who had recently gone to a rave in the rain and njoyed running through the mud in his bare feet. We also approached a guy who we pretended we knew from high school. We called him Dave and he was great. He was tall and had an impressive shirt which we complemented him on. He asked us if we thought he had a symmetrical face, because a shop assistant in Hallensteins had told him that his face was asymmetrical. It was really upsetting to see how insecure this has made him feel, so we all said that we thought he had a wonderfully symmetrical face and was very handsome. Rosa said that his face had at least four lines of symmetry. This made Dave very happy and he said that we had genuinely made his day. From that moment onwards Dave became a talking point for the trip. We also met a guy who was doing a thesis on poisons and wearing a maroon jacket. At one point we convinced Rosa to go up to a guy waiting in the portaloo line and ask him if he was planning on doing poos or wees. This went terribly.

Shapeshifter themselves were okay, but it's not really the sort of music I'm into though I recognised a few songs. I was glad I had bought earplugs in Motueka and gave some to Rosa and Sophie (we weren't sure where the others were). We got a sweet dance crew going and confused those around us by joining hands in a circle and then expanding out and then jumping inwards. An extremely drunk guy approached me and asked me for help. I said sure, and he asked me to slap him hard. I wasn't sure if I should do this as he could have been trolling me for a fight but he seemed genuine so I slapped him lightly on the cheek. He asked for another harder slap so I did this, feeling kind of guilty for inflicting pain but then kind of okay for assisting him. He thanked me and then asked if I could help him find his friend. I led him to the water tap and we ran into his friend who was really mad at him. I think he was on heaps of drugs too as he was an absolute mess.

Before long the gig finished so we began walking back to the cars and caught up with Ollie, Ronan and Matt on the way. We grabbed our sleeping bags and warm clothes from the car and begun walking along the road to the orchard we were planning to sleep in. Rosa yelled an obscene insult at a person hiding in a bush. On the way a guy walking behind us happened to recognise Ollie's voice and caught up to us. It turned out that he was our age and a family friend of Ollie's, and he offered for us to stay at his house as he lived nearby. We walked up a private driveway on a hill for what seemed like ages and eventually came to his house. He said that we could stay inside if we wanted but we were happy to sleep outside so we set up our sleeping bags on a section next to his house that his parent's owned. The section was full of overgrown grass and tussock which made a comfortable mattress and we had a great view of the stars from our position on the hill.

one gigantic bed!

we sorted an effective two row formation

 Once we had everything sorted we settled down to sleep. A light misty rain started soon after which worked very well as a cooling system as I was very warm in the sleeping bag. Ollie's friend started out sleeping in the grass with us but retreated inside a few hours later which I guess is fair enough considering he had the option of a warm bed. I slept very well which was excellent and woke in the morning to see rich people gardening and looking bemused at the six people emerging out of the long grass up further up their driveway. Ollie and I took wilderness pictures of everyone.

a wild Ollie appeared!

Ollie used Lick!

Matt used Grass Knot!

Ronan used Rest!

Sophie used Tail Whip!

Rosa used Leer!

Regan fainted.

Matt and Ollie found rare candy

"Ollie gains weight and contemplates the Universe" - Matt's impression of this picture

We went inside Ollie's friend's house, talked to him and his mother, had breakfast and admired the view of the orchards below with their coloured canopies.

We then walked down the hill and back to our cars. 

single file is a dominant strategy on open roads

 Once we reached the cars we drove to Kaiteriteri beach for a swim. While we were swimming in the shallows a jetboat sped past with a waterskiing person on the back and the driver yelled at us "This is a jetboat lane!" which was ridiculous since a boat can obvious go further out to sea than swimmers.

After swimming we sat on the beach for a bit

Then we decided to bury Rosa! 

BORG BEGINS

An outline!

Ollie discovers colour mode on my camera

rosa borging out

just look at that detail!

finishing touches

and a title!

best robot ever

onlookers were amazed

next up was me. whilst rosa got star treatment during the creation of BORG, I was treated horribly by my "friends"

hordes of sand got flicked into my ears and Ronan kept forgetting where my body ended and stood on me repeatedly. my life was hard.

but then I got sweet accessories!

equipped for battle

unfortunately the odds were stacked against me...peanut butter is a deadly weapon. In fact here is a haiku I wrote a while ago on the subject:

My greatest weakness
al-Queda plans to put
peanuts on my tongue

This picture may have been inspiration for The Hunger Games. 

After that Rosa and I fought; she probably won but I'll call it a draw for prosperity. We then begun our drove back down south towards home, stopping again in Mapua for chips and real fruit icecreams.

Ollie got a phonecall!

ripe

4

da

chippin

ronan deflects a camera snipe

but doesn't catch this one!

Pirate Matt 

Matt Up Close

is matt about to feed ronan? 

i ate a chip but it was too hot so i opened my mouth a bit and exhaled to cool the chip

Rosa with my skateboard!

Real Fruit Icecreams/Yoghurts. The Best

stages of icecream consumption

Ollie took my camera whilst the rest of us skimmed stones/sat on the beach

Mapua beach on the left, Rabbit Island on the right

stone selection is vital to skimming

myself as a monster. perhaps i am happy about finding an excellent stone or perhaps i am aghast at matt selecting the perfect skimmer from right under my nose.  

females look on in embarrassment as males occupy themselves with primitive rock games for large amounts of time.

Ollie is spotted!

Ronan Broad, Right Side

Ronan pulls off the "top button" look with surprising results

Ollie catches me mid-yawn

Attempts at dodging yield no success

privacy achieved in hat

no escape

Leaving Mapua we drove back towards Richmond and right through Hope.

orange juice despair 

ful

Then we drove to Spring's Junction! We stopped a few times at possible camping spots for our final night and drove up a random dirt road only to find an imposing farm gate with an animal skull on it. So we turned around and eventually found a DOC camping site on the edge of a forest. There were quite a lot of other people camping around the area but we found a clearing for ourselves and began setting up. We were keen to camp in the forest itself rather than in the clearing next to our cars so we launched a quick recon mission into the forest to try to find an area with enough open ground to set up two tents. The forest was too dense but Ronan suggested we set up one tent next to a huge tree and set up the other by the cars. Matt and I set about creating a makeshift shelter whilst Ollie and Ronan set up Ollie's tent next to the cars and Rosa and Sophie prepared dinner.

The spot for our shelter; the horizontal tree trunk provided shelter in itself which was super helpful. Thanks Nature!

Matt and I took apart my tent to separate the groundsheet from the fly and inner. 

We then attached the fly to various trees and pieces of bark 

What it looked like underneath; enough room for about 4 people lying side by side

This excellent bird visited our shelter and approved of it. 

We were then called for dinner. Dinner was delicious; Chick pea salad, Tuna Rice, Bread, Grape Juice, Cider.

Ronan rocks the Mum Hat with pride (and weirdly suits it)

 During dinner we realised that there were a lot of sandflies around. They seemed to especially like Ollie, who jumped out of his seat at one point and screamed "Raaaa!! BUGSSSSS!!!" Later we would learn that we were camping near Lake Daniell, otherwise known as Sand Fly City. After dinner Matt and I finished our shelter by adding a fly from one of Rosa's tents as well as foam mats and another blanket as a groundsheet. It was now ready to sleep six people!

too fly

Here's the "indoor" view with some of the foam mats and sleeping bags laid out. We later added a blanket in the entrance as another groundsheet.

 It was amazing that our structure survived the entire night since so many of the fly guy ropes were hooked around tiny trees or branches that could have easily given way. Everyone else was very impressed when we finally revealed our creation. Ollie and Ronan had originally been planning to sleep in Ollie's legit tent which they had set up earlier but we managed to convince them to at least start out in Tent Shelter Extreme.

Piggy torch makes an appearance

Regan Stoked! Ollie Lick! Matt Sleep!

Unfortunately sleeping that night was particularly arduous. Sand flies were a constant annoyance, buzzing around our heads constantly and landing in our ears. It meant that any sleep achieved was half sleep and it didn't really feel like sleep at all. I was lying at the far end of the shelter with a rock right next to my head so repositioning was difficult, but if I shifted to the left slightly and pushed the tent fly back a bit I had a clear view up through the canopy of trees. It was an amazing sight at night; through the dark outline of leaves I could see tiny patches of the lighter night sky, dotted with stars and lit by the moon somewhere above. I tried to take a picture but it was far too dark to show anything and even if it did it wouldn't have done the sight any justice.

Here's a picture of the canopy in the morning anyway

Part way through the night Ollie, Ronan and Matt went to sleep in Ollie's tent after getting sick of the repeated assaults from the RELENTLESS sandflies. This gave Rosa, Sophie and myself more room to spread out and the sandflies seemed to be more well behaved from then on. We stuck it out in the shelter; I managed to scavenge some sort of sustained sleep for a while but was still quite tired in the morning. 

Luckily the Alpine Fault didn't set off while we were there

In the morning we packed all of our gear up to head back to Christchurch. Every morning my car had been refusing to start for a while but this final day was the worst, with it taking a good ten minutes or so for the engine to catch. Eventually we were on our way, stopping in Culverden for a pie before bidding our goodbyes to the boys in Ollie's car and driving the final stretch to Christchurch. It was an incredibly NJOYable trip; I now think that spending money on accommodation is very silly as it's a lot more fun to look for a place to stay and so much cheaper too.