myself, yogless

Today I am yogless. All of my yoghurt is gone. This morning I finished off the 1kg tub of Mango Passion that I bought last week by trying a recipe Sophie gave me last night. It is a very easy recipe and very yummy:

Sophie's Yog-Rice

1. Pour Ricies (rice puff breakfast cereal for those not in the know) into a bowl

2. Mix with yoghurt

3. NJOY 

As of around 4pm today I had a second 1kg tub of Bliss yoghurt that Scott had got for me on clearance a few days ago (see here for the full backstory). When Scott presented me with the yoghurt I thought it would be nice to give it away to someone for free since we had got it for so cheap and I didn't want to get sick of the delicious yoghurt from eating it too much.

Today I got home from grad school at around 3.45pm. I wanted to give the yog out asap since today is the 9th and the yog is best before the 14th. So, before I got changed out of my formal grad school clothes I grabbed the yog tub and headed out the door.

My plan was to present the yoghurt to the group of people at the busstop outside Riccarton Mall and announce that I was giving away 1kg of unopened yoghurt for free. In my mind I pictured at least two people approaching me wanting the yog so I decided that if I got more than one person wanting it I would ask "What is the Māori name for Christchurch?" and the first person who said "Ōtautahi" would be the winner.

I started to walk towards the busstop but had just gone past our letterbox when I decided to turn back and grab my skateboard since it was rather cold. It won't matter if I'm skating, I justified to myself, since I was wearing a shirt and tie and wool jersey and dress pants and formal shoes so the public would feel assured in my professional image and disregard the skateboard in my hand and trust that I was presenting them with a genuine offer of kindness rather than something poisoned. Besides, skating is a lot more fun than walking and  it was cold.

o, naivity

So, I hopped on my skateboard with the chipped tail and pushed my way to the busstop across the road from Riccarton Mall. I had been expecting a lot of people there since it was nearly 4pm but when I got there there were only seven. This threw me off a bit; how could reality not match the preconceived image in my head!?!

Approaching the busstop I picked up my skateboard and stood awkwardly at the edge of the abyss, clutching the cold yoghurt. I felt very conspicuous. Next to me was a guy around my age with grey camo pants and headphones. There was also a woman sitting on the metal bench, then three high school aged girls and two women slightly older than me further along.

I collected myself then walked over to headphone camo pant man, greeted him and offered him the free yoghurt. He looked scared out of his mind and declined. I appealed with a gentle explanation but he shook his head again. I had been hoping that the guy would accept as I didn't want to seem like a creepy guy offering high school girls free yoghurt.

My dignity now nestled somewhere between spent bubblegum and concrete, I made my way to the other side of the busstop offering the other people yoghurt, a splash of desperation in my voice. The three high school girls rightfully declined and looked curious/confused. No one else wanted it either. A bus pulled up to the stop and I gestured to the yoghurt to one of the people inside, holding it out to them. Through the glass they shook their head and turned away.

I crossed the busy road to the other, more populated busstop. As I crossed the street I wondered how long it would take for me to offload this yoghurt. It was quickly becoming an embarrassing burden. At the busstop there was at least 20 people. Drawing on my teaching experience I stood in front of everybody and said in a loud voice something to the effect of "Hey everyone, would anyone like some free unopened yoghurt? We had too much so I'm giving it away." Everyone stared silently at me as if I was alien. "We bought it..." I added desperately, keen to articulate that I was not in fact a criminal (perhaps the black jersey wasn't helping). Finally a lady spoke ("No thanks.") I looked around the crowd for a final time to see if anyone was interested. Some people were laughing; no one was keen. 

I continued my quest into the carpark and saw a guy in his 30's walking towards the busstop in a puffer jacket. I offered him the yoghurt and he stopped walking, interested. At last! I explained that my flatmate had bought lots of yoghurt on clearance but I didn't need it and it was unopened. He took it and seemed pretty pleased. I told him that the yoghurt normally retailed for $8 and that it was delicious. I then skated out of the carpark in style (many people at the busstop had been watching the transaction with interest). 

Arriving back home I was happy. I didn't think it would have been so difficult to offload a free tub of yum yog but I guess that just goes to show how generally distrusting a lot of people are these days....Pretty sad really. When I got home I told Scott what I had done and gave him $4. So everyone won!

- Scott got a handsome $0.31 profit (the yoghurt originally cost $3.69)
- Man in puffer jacket got some delishimo yoghurt with "S.A.L. BEST BEFORE 14 MAY 2120" on the top in vivid (I hope he and his family njoy it)
- I get intrinsic reward from destroying my public dignity in the Riccarton area + doing a random act of kindness + not getting sick of yoghurt from eating it too much + my wallet is lighter now without the cumbersome $2, $1 and $1 coins that were in it before.

Compare that with me simply eating all of the yoghurt myself; now 3+ people are happy! People should give more.