Commune 2020!

There is a plan to form a commune in 2020. The idea started around Year 11/12 (2005/2006) but has recently become more serious due to the current trend of humanity. We will live sustainably off the land and will not be a strange cult. There will be a wharenui and wharekai. There will be a communal wardrobe. There will be many weathered buildings with tin roofs to make rain even more exciting. Many people are keen on this idea.

When I was moving to my flat I found this old poster in my old room and thought of the commune. It has been up in my room ever since. While I assume our commune will look quite different to this the poster represents the way of life we are aiming for.

this is us, 8 years from now

Last night I went to move the poster and noticed a spaceship at the top. It was the work of Matt Franklin!

Lucian the Giraffe was irritated. The balloon was late! Late late late! This made the giraffe resort to a fit of rage. He became so angry that he was viewed on webcam as a threat to the US government who quickly dispatched a rocket to dispatch of him. Luckily Lucian has been bred for rocket invulnerability.The dead tree sprouted fruit that supported Lucian in his conquest for Utmost Power. If it wasn't for slow public transport we would still have humans left on earth, take note Christchurch City Council. 

Matt and Chris had come round a week or so back and we had played the first ever round of Shorter Stories (documented here). In that same evening we drew small pictures in coloured pencil at the request of Matt (I drew a sleepy tree which features below and a prison cell which I presume is on Matt's picture). I had assumed that these pictures were for a second hand painting Matt had in his room that he was planning to spruce up by adding extra features. A few nights later Matt was back at spag junx, cutting out tiny red and green shapes. I assumed these were apples and pears for his picture. Little did I know he was actually planning to add them to mine (Look again at the picture above and you will see them!!)

Scott informs me that Matt has been adding extra pictures every time he has been to our flat over the last week, which means it has taken me up to eight days to notice (assuming Matt started adding pictures on the 26th when we started drawing them).This is a great example of a "positive troll" (playing a trick on someone that they actually njoy). Since it took me so long to notice I give the troll an A+ rating. Here are the other additions that I've spotted so far (I think I've found them all...)

Luke was having a great day until he accidentally set himself on fire. He ran about his front yard shouting for help instead of heading to the river. 

Meryl was sick of her younger brother.
"I know what I'll do," she thought. "I'll grab my father's axe and chop off my dear brother's leg,"
Conveniently their father was chopping wood right behind them and was highly incompetent at supervising his children. Meryl succeeded in grabbing the axe. The leg-amputation went smoothly, but Meryl felt very sad inside when she heard the cries of agony from her brother. Suddenly she realised that she loved her brother very much. So much that she wanted two of him. So she picked up the axe again to split her brother in two. Down came the axe for the second time. The operation was successful! Meryl, Jimmy and Jimmmy all got along very well. 

Aliens from Jupiter play pooh sticks in the river with human subjects

Cow No. 24 was confused at being presented with a large lemon for supper. Was it for consumption? Or simply a large pillow?

"Oh, him? He is expendable. Very lazy. He'll be hay by Tuesday."

Bill hoped that he would lose weight by reading a short story.
Mr. Leeroy was the talk of the town with a new set of trousers. 

Steve the shopping trolley looked at his wife in anger.
"I provide all of the food for this house and you do nothing!"
Molly could not believe what she was hearing.
"Oh really? Can't you see how much I've done today? At least ten loads of dirt! If you can't  appreciate what I'll do I'm off!"
And with that, Molly scooped up the shovels and was wheeled away by Farmer Orange.

Jim was having a bad day. He had landed on earth at 10am and was still looking for his first kai of the day at 3 o'clock. At last, he spotted two humans on a team picnic expedition. Jim edged along the wall and crept towards the duo.
"fdfsdf eeefdf eefwfwf?" said Jim.
Sally and Bob were initially scared, but within ten minutes were happily dissolving in Jim's partitioned stomach together. It was like a five-star hotel!

Digger - 3 points!

Gretel the Witch always carried two hats in case she lost one. This paid off bigtime when she was attacked by Ostl the Bridge Goose who bit off one hat and threw it into the rapids. On the other side of the bank the strange dark creature of the forest known as Dribblegook saw Gretel and realised he had found the love of his life. In the next fifteen seconds Dribblegook will sprint across the bridge and ask Gretel to accompany his for a chai latte at the village cafe. But will Gretel accept? Of course she will; though her last relationship ended in acid tears she is now ready to love again.

Hive! Hive! 7 points! 7 points! Sadly, Billy was only playing Hives and Diggers by himself, and it doesn't really work if you're not driving on the open road with a group of amicable friends.

Henry the Horse had always wanted to compete in the kite olympics. In the bushes,  Yellow Terror Digger lies in ambush. The string will be broken. Billy will be stoked upon sight of Yellow Terror Digger, netting himself 3 more sweet points in his solo game of despair. 

As the day drew to a close, even the trees began to fall asleep. No one noticed as a lone hay bale burst into flame and disintegrated slowly. Tim was floating down the river, as happy as a dream, unaware that Death was waiting close by. Luckily, Death was playing hide and seek with Terence the Cow, and since Terence was "in", Death was far too concerned with concealing his position to bother with killing Tim. Score!